RaisedBy - trending challenge

RaisedBy - trending challenge

Here's to all the people #RaisedBy _________.

Video feed for #RaisedBy challenge

Taking things personally can also be trauma 🥹 One of the most painful relationship wounds that we might've suffered from is rejection and abandonment. Being raised by emotionally immature parents, there might've been harsh criticizing, shaming, blaming, neglecting, gaslighting, and punishing. For a young child, all of these behaviors will be received as rejection and abandonment—there's something bad or wrong about me. As we grow up and become adults, we can still carry that old rejection/abandonment wound that can easily get triggered if we perceive rejection (even when it's not actually happening). Taking someone else's behavior, comments, feedback, etc. personally can come from perceiving their actions or words as them rejecting you. A common example is when someone says no to you. If they're setting a boundary, they don't want to hang out, they're busy and aren't available, they disagree with you, etc. You take it personally and even get aggressive/passive-aggressive/defensive or you believe that they don't love you anymore, or maybe they never did. So a "no" isn't a rejection of YOU. A "no" is an objection to what's being asked currently, and often, it's not a rejection of you as a person or rejection of you in the relationship. What's helped me is realizing that quite often when I take something personally it wasn't about me and it had more to do with that person, their current feelings, emotional baggage, personal attitudes in that situation. But sometimes there is some truth to what they shared and I can self-reflect, learn, grow, and make small positive changes for next time. And yes, we can grow our tolerance and develop thicker skins so we don't take other people's emotional reactions is personally... But we also need to grow our empathy, vulnerability, and communication skills to express our hurts sometime to the other person when we have taken something personally that they did or said for us to resolve issues together and reach better mutual understanding.
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